Me: Time to write straight-up porn with zero plot

Brain: How about a 5-page introduction

Me: What no that isn’t what I —

Brain: Or metaphors about space

Brain: Or memories about family inside jokes for backstory purposes

Brain: Or exposition about where and when this is happening

Brain: Or detailed descriptions of the bathroom

Brain: Or insightful–

Me: Oh my god no why are you like this

Brain:

Brain: May I offer you this unnecessary side story about the character’s dead grandmother in this trying time

Me: I just wanted to write spitroasting